Two Years Closer

Snow Day, Winter '95

My dad went to his heavenly home two years ago today. At times my memory takes me back to that cold night, to that small intensive care room and I feel like it was only moments ago that I last saw his sweet face say goodbye. Other times the two years since his passing seem like decades, or centuries even, when I long to hear his voice or feel his big, strong arms hug me tight.  I miss those hugs.  I miss him.

So much of what I’ve written about regarding my dad has revolved around his sickness and death.  But my dad was so, so much more than his sickness.  I’ve written about what a blessing it was to be his daughter and he really was such a godly father, such a wise counselor.  But you know what, he had a great personality, too.  He was really funny and he loved to laugh...I think at me more than just about anything.  One of the things I miss the most about him is how he would get so cracked up at something I said, not even meaning to be funny.  I miss making him smile.  

And with all things I remember about him, I refuse to let my dad’s life here be reduced to a memory in my mind.  Once his soul left this earth it did not disappear or become one with the universe.  He isn't walking around re-birthed as someone else. He is in a real place, doing real things with other real people, waiting on their resurrected bodies together.  He is not my guardian angel, or my protector, or watching over me.  But he IS with Jesus, and someday I will be, too.  I believe that, and I want to live my life like I do.  Sometimes it is so hard to grasp the reality of Heaven when my limited, earthly mind tries to comprehend.  I pray this year I do a better job of that.

Throughout the last few years I have learned that God’s blessings are not always answered prayers.  Even when God says “no” to one prayer, much of the time He gives us blessings we never even knew to ask Him for.  One of the most important things I’ve learned is how to love your family.  A word to all of the daughters: love your daddies.  Hug them like you never want to let them go because someday you just might have to.  Respect him; listen to his wise counsel.  And as cliche as it sounds, you really are never too old to be his little girl.  To all of the wives:  cherish your husbands. Love them, honor them, submit to their godly leadership because someday it might be taken from you.  To all of the daddies: be the kind of husband to your wife that your daughter would want to marry someday.  Be the kind of father today that you want your children to remember when you are gone.  Because tomorrows always come too soon, and when they do, you can’t ever get them back.

It may be two years since I’ve seen him, but I’m just two years closer to seeing him again.  I know I’ll be with him soon.  I believe.